Friday, July 20, 2007

It's hard letting go!




We took a short little "mini-vacation" this week. For the past two years, Savanah has asked to go to the beach for her birthday. Since her birthday falls right smack dab in the middle of July (the 18th to be exact), it isn't that hard of a request to grant. I mean, it is summer time after all. But her birthday hasn't been on the weekend for awhile and won't be for at least two more years. So this year, Keith decided to take the day off. Now, Savanah has the privilege of sharing her birthday with her Aunt Janeen (my sister), who has always had a "thing" for birthdays. She pays close attention to them, hers even more so. She commented to Anah this week that she should keep track of the number of birthdays she celebrates where it is raining on her birthday. Odd comment, you might be thinking. But the last time it rained on my sisters birthday (besides for this past Wednesday) was 11 years ago. We spent the evening watching Point of Grace perform at the King County Fair in the pouring down rain. It was horrible and wonderful all at the same time. But mostly it was memorable! So memorable in fact, that even though July 18th is not my birthday I reminded my mom of the fact that that was the last time it rained on Janeen's birthday, before Janeen herself commented on it. Now I'm sure by now you all are wondering, what does this have to do with letting go? Not a gosh darn thing. I just wanted to get my point across about how disappointing it was to have rain on our "mini-vacation", when the chances were so unlikely that it would happen. So on with my story . . .

For our "mini-vacation", we decided to go crabbing. This was something that Keith did many times as a kid and teenager but I myself had never done. He was so excited to take the girls and I was so excited to take pictures of the girls and him. Because of the handy weather channel we were as prepared as possible for the rain. And the girls were troopers. They toughed it out for 2 1/2 hours in the pouring down rain. They had a blast. They helped Keith put the bait in the bait cage and throw the crab pots into the water and then pull them back up again. They had no fear when it came to picking up the crabs with their snapping little claws and throwing them back into the water or holding them for pictures or to be measured to see if they were keepers. But they also had no fear of the water. And this scared me TO DEATH.

We were crabbing off a dock, which meant they could walk right off the dock and fall straight into the cold, deep, black water. I'm not a good judge of distance and measurements but I know that dock couldn't have been over five feet wide. And I'm telling you, five feet is not a whole lot of space when you've got crab nets and buckets and a dad with two little girls with ants in their pants who want to see every thing and be a part of every thing. Seriously, they would walk right up to the edge of dock and lean as far over it as possible to try and see the crab pot that was sitting on the bottom of the ocean, who knows how far down. The water was black. They couldn't see anything past 12 inches from the surface. Or they would be helping with something and would turn their backs to the water and the edge of the dock and then take steps backward without every looking to see how far they could go without falling in. After about 45 minutes of continuously telling them to stop running, get away from the edge and quit doing that, I had to leave. I couldn't handle it anymore. I knew without a shadow of a doubt one of them was going to go over the edge. So I left to get more bait and air! When I got back, I remembered that we had their life vests with us and that I could have them put them on underneath their rain jackets. The minute they were on, it was like a huge boulder had been lifted off my lungs and I was finally able to breath again and relax. The whole time before putting on their vests, Keith kept telling me, "baby, you gotta let them go", "they are gonna be okay", "I did this all the time as a kid". But I couldn't let them go. To me it was dangerous and honestly I didn't want to have to go in the water after them.

Now that it is all said and done, and we had no mishaps and no one went "overboard", I still have a hard time "letting go". They are my babies. How do I let go?

2 comments:

Bakatari said...

A blast for the kids and myself!
As far as letting go? I think Bob said it best....Baby steps.

Jane Anne said...

Great pictures!!